Monday, January 28, 2008

Naija Tales

Many people have been warning me that I may soon pick up Nigerian habits because of my daily interactions with them.
So far, I've stuck to my Ugandan ways and I think, their pronunciations of some words are tongue- twisting. But there's no escaping the heavy Os and they are really working up a sweat trying to pronounce Ugandan names. For instance, there's a Nalweyiso, Kyeyune, Agonzibwa. I think we've to tell them that sometimes it's easiest to call people by their first names. One of the directors has insisted my name's Nigerian. I've given up convincing him otherwise.
Basically, it's full scale comedy up in here!!

On Saturday, Puli and I went to a shop on Buganda Road that sells kitenges and such. Suprise suprise, the shop is owned and managed by Nigerians. After our initial giggles we got down to business with the attendant. And he goes,
"How may I be of service to you, mama?"
"Anything in particular you are looking for, mama"

We were just really amused by the 'mama', at this point.
So while we were making up our minds, he brings a book over. A customer's book so they can keep you in their contacts and get in touch with you when they've new stuff.
Anyhow, we list a number.
Then the killer came,
"So mama, let me be your papa"
I died. The effort of hiding our amusement was too much to handle. We simply burst out laughing in his face.
He didn't give up.
He continued, "Tell papa anything you want, mama"
My reply,
"I'll tell Papa what I want"
It was an effort walking out of the shop, they must've thought we were high on something!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Toys vs. Shoes Pt II

I call this another level of endurance and fighting.
The number plate, that's plain sneaky!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Toys vs. shoes

Himself and I have a words' contest when it comes to toys and shoes. He loves toys and can put up a good argument why he needs a particular phone, monitor or some other device and it doesn't help that he works in such a store. He's surrounded by these gadgets so it's a bit like living a dream.
I also put up a good fight when it comes to what I want. Shoes.
I've put up a similar fight in my house for as long as I could eat bread. I love marmalade and come what may, it has to be on the shopping list. Never mind that I'm the only one who likes marmalade in the house, but it HAS to be there.
Oddly enough, The Times reports that in a bid to improve marmalade sales, it'll be packaged as Orange jam. I hope it'll still taste the same.

This musoga has his eye on this baby. And we had the toys and shoes contest about it. So in the spirit of meeting halfway, Verily, I say unto you, get yourself the monitor!

Last week's post ended with me in the process of writing the text. In the end, Himself gave in first with something in the post!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

My Archenemy.

I hate Entebbe Road.
It gives and takes away four days later on. But you have to keep your enemies particularly closest. Hence I'll continue to travel that road till..............

Breaking resolutions
So soon.
Whenever This Musoga goes back, there's always the resolution to keep the texts flowing, chats up, phone calls- everything.
Sooner than later, maybe, we get tired and the dumping drill kicks in. So it trickles down to a few texts, a few chats, then one text, no chats and finally silence. And when you are caught, excuses are quick.
So if you are found online, I'd probably say Boss calls or if Himself's master piece is "I'm going to watch a movie"! Or "I'm so broke, no airtime." That gives you leverage for a few hours.
Then one of us after a while, gives it up- I can't fight, so it's usually me that breaks the defense! But.............., this one comes with a one liner, enough to drive the point home!
It's been two days and I'm composing my line!

2008
May it be filled with good fortune, health, joy and peace.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Escaping by the skin of my teeth.

With all the excitement that has been in Kampala the past two months- first CHOGM now it's a few days to Christmas, you'd think that everyone would be in euphoria- ville. Some people are so immune to this stuff, that at whatever opportunity, you've got to earn the dime.
When I came in today morning, I was reliably informed that I was to be traveling on the 29th. That has taken the award for the shock of the month! I really had to wriggle myself out of this one and I successfully did! But I had alot of explaining to do!
A while ago, in a phone conversation with Himself, he asked me what I was doing on the 29th. Silly me, I fell into that pit- that bottomless pit! I thought about it, then said, "Nothing"
Then I remembered! 29th is Himself's birthday! The shoe was on the other foot, it was me who forgot this time! Now I know how horrible feels like! I think, I'll try not to harrass This Musoga, if the opportunity of forgetting my birthday arises.
If I'd travelled, and forgotten before, I surely was going to take the prize!

Otherwise,

Friday, December 07, 2007

Going traditional- NOW!

I have come to the realization, or maybe been boxed into a corner that, NOW, more than I ever thought necessary; I’ve to brush up on my local languages. If not, even start to learn them.

My three weeks in Nairobi have been relatively trouble free- except for a few language issues here and there. The house help speaks very little English and manages
to survive and I also survive because either my grandmother or my cousin Alice are in the house. So I can always ask for translations.
This time however, Alice is away at school and Jajja is elsewhere conducting business. So I’m in the house with the help alone. First course of action was to smile a lot the morning I got there, then in the afternoon I had to get to the bookshop in Sarit Centre and buy a Kiswahili phrasebook.

To diverge a bit- this bookshop makes you feel like buying all the books in it. It is so well arranged, the service is superb and Joe, my cousin swears he wants to marry the pretty Indian lady who helps you find what you are looking for! Aristoc should really send some of its staff on a spy mission to this bookstore because Aristoc sucks compared to these guys. Also, that brilliantly funny comedy show, Ze Comedy Show on EATV and another Kiswahili series Je Huu Ni Ungwana, which Joe kindly looked up for me, is helping. Apart from the rib crackers, I get to hear Kiswahili spoken the way it should- not of the Ugandan kind. I should also mention that the phrasebook is just what the doctor ordered- I’m really catching up!

For the first time in slightly over a decade, we have a live- in help at home. It was more convenient to have someone who came in twice a week to clean and wash but now with the house empty for the whole day, we need someone to stay home and help us a little.
He is from Mubende and does not speak an ounce of English. Mode of communication- Luganda. It is so amusing watching my father and I fumble to express ourselves to him and mum just loves the show! I think it’s her perfect revenge- finally! This morning for instance, I was shocked to hear the sound of running water at 3am from the kitchen. When I got to the kitchen, the only words that came to my mind were, “Ivan, essawa!” When mum investigated later on, he’d thought it was 6am and had gotten up to make breakfast!
So this weekend, I’m buying a Luganda phrasebook too!

I am Lango, from Lango and I speak Lango. This is how I manage to keep up with the identity of who I am, from where and what language I speak. The Lango is coming quite well; the words are shorter, chap- chap and a lot easier to remember. And a few of them are plagiarized from English- Buk for Book, Bach for Bus!

Moment of Panic!

On Wednesday, I was reading an article on the Bugweri parliamentary race and how it is fast degenerating into a murky family affair. Family, meaning it is finally boiling down to which clan you are from and who’s grandchild are you. One contestant, a grandfather wants his grandchild to step down for him! Eer, shouldn’t it be the other way round?
So anyways, at the end of the article which listed a few of Busoga’s clans, I realized I didn’t know This Musoga’s clan! I’m quite vocal about mine and he sometimes calls me Gwe Oyima. The SMS saved the day, he told me he was from the Leopard clan, but didn’t know the Lusoga name. Said he was going to ask Daddy about it.

Come to think of it, I don’t know what Oyima is in English, let me go find out from Dad!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

What's up!

Even if I have fat thighs
Flabby arms,
A pot belly,
I still give good loving.


This is taken from a song- aptly named Pot Belly done by a South African band- called Freshly Ground. Pam forced this band onto me. Put it on my player and plays the CD all the time. Thus, I’m boxed in a corner. I must admit, I looked at the CD jacket and didn’t think them serious. Surprise, surprise. They are actually good at what they do! And now I can’t get their song out of my system! And I saw them on MTV. OK, from now on, I’ll listen to them

I’m on a forced holiday till after CHOGM. Because the building is under renovation and as such everyone was sent home to allow the contractors finish that work. Then again I was absent the day they were issuing the CHOGM IDs. So from 1st November till 26th November I’ll not be allowed into the building. So, I’m on a holiday then a forced extension for close to seven weeks.

I’m soon running out of ideas on how to spend my holiday. So far it has consisted of telly, a few books and “just being around”. In a few days, I was bored witless and soon pulling out my hair. My mum suggested I try to do things that I’ve failed to do.
First, I made the resolution to try to follow my gym schedule to the dot. After Himself left, I‘d gone from doing twenty laps in the pool to about seven if I pushed myself hard. I once swam one lap and got out and went home. I was so ashamed of myself that day. I decided to get a swim mate. First was Vanessa- she wasn’t helping much because in two weeks, we only swam three times and less than ten laps. I went looking again and ended up with someone I’d not bargained for. Because this guy pushes and pushes and pushes. He probably swims twice as much as me and I can’t catch up. I mentally cry when I get in but at the end of it, I’ve achieved what I wanted in the first place. At least I’m back to my twenty laps and I don’t care if he’s doing probably fifty to my miserable twenty!

Then I tried baking a sponge cake. All my attempts at baking a sponge cake have flopped- in one word. I tried again and after two tries I finally got something that my mum ate and liked! With that new found joy, I expanded my efforts to Black Forest, with a little help from a cousin, and, Voila!

Also, for the love of me, I can’t make eggs. Let me just say that it comes out another way. If you ask for sunny side up, it may come out like scrambled without the milk maybe. If I try the fried egg, I get something that’s been slightly over done. The only sensible eggs I can make are poached and plain boiled- quite easy actually. The hard part here is turning the egg over to get the other side cooked. That’s when things go wrong. In the things I’ve failed to do, that I’m trying to do, making eggs has miserably failed. I give up!
My cousin Richard has summed up the failures in one word, “Fala”!

It’s officially about three weeks to graduation. In my telly holiday, I was kindly reminded that I had to get a dress and n’ebigenderako for grad! I’d been regaled with stories by Angel and Shu about walking nearly the whole length of the Kampala shops and not finding what they want or even something close to what they want. And with this unpredictable weather, you just don’t know when the heavens will open up on you! I wanted to avoid all that and I decided I’d find something from what I have.
That’s out, according to my mum. I’ve to go and find something suitable. Everyday from the start of this week, I’ve made plans to start looking. One look at the midday sun changes my mind about it and now the hunt is being pushed further and further away.

Well, I have to confront it soon because today afternoon Rita and Angel are coming home to pick me up and WE go looking for dresses. I hope I find something chap- chap, because…………………. I don’t know!!!

Off I go!
Ta- rar!

Friday, September 28, 2007

The curse of Facebook.

This phenomenon called Social Networking took a long, really long, time to creep up on me!
First, I have an utter dislike for sites where I have to fill in endless details about myself and whatever.
Second, I hardly have the attention span to keep up with that turf, upload pictures, update the mood swings?. All that stuff, to me seems like it would take a lot of time, and I simply was lazy maybe to jump on the wagon.
Thirdly, I figured, if you needed to get in touch with me, you'd know my email address or phone number. The beauty about the email is that, if you tired of someone, you could spam them and forget they ever wrote you something!! Or maybe smile coyly the next time you meet and say,"Oh, I stopped using that address! I still have your email, I'll send you my new one." And then you never get round to sending it.

I could say this, albeit with abit of villag-er in me, that my profiles on Hi5 and Facebook have been the concerted efforts of people like Bryan and Shulin, who were probably getting ashamed. So I gave them my ID and password and they'd do whatever. However, the few emails I sent, are always written by me.

So, I can say, that the phenomenon of Facebook is on me! Earlier this week, when I had to spend nearly the whole night in the office, doing boring and frustrating work, I found solace in Facebook- the great comforter!
I pimped my profile, added applications, looked at friends, answered requests and even posted a mood!! Heck, I had a mood swing that I posted online!
Since that evening, I catch myself signing into my account like three times a day and doing what these facebook- ers do on the site!

Shu, Nat, Bryan- I've joined Facebook! I've styled up!

Enjoy graduation weekend!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

War of words.

For the observant, you'll notice that this blog has undergone three blog title changes in a period of a few months.
Reason, I would say, This Musoga and I have been having a cold war with all the characteristics. Across continents, each keeping up their front and minimum talk on the subject. The war is about, the blog title!
It was first This Musoga while it was his alone. Then when I joined the fray it got changed to Seven Seas. As of last week, it was re- baptised my darling judith.
So, I quickly suggested we find a new name as I was uncomfortable with the focus on one of the names because it revealed too much identity. It was something that people got confused about the identities of Elit and Mama and Papa and This Musoga!!
Well, now maybe we have to bring our woes to Blogger.
So, in the spirit of defeat that I concede,
I invite suggestions on what we should name our blog!

Elsewhere,
Two months ago when Himself went back, it was he that had the problem of floods and I guess questions whether his house was under water!
Now, the rains shifted focus and they are on this side of the world. And now I have to deal with the questions of whether my village is among the flooded areas.
In Himself's words, "Despite popular belief, my home is not flooded"- If only for a while, maybe?!

Have a great one.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Encounters with pettiness.

It always amazes me when people need help and immediately they are looking beyond the obvious. Here, the in thing when you go to sort out a problem, the first question that is usually asked is, "So, which constituency are you from?" I imagine with every office equiped with the 8th Parliament charts, they look at who represents you and maybe party!
This is often followed by subtle glances at you. It's like in their heads they are saying, "Do you fit the bill?" Others outright refuse to get any assistance from you and prefer to get help from the men in the department.
To counter all these issues, I practice what I know best- The Art of Quiet and in response to the question of my constituency, I ask them, "Or you mean which part of the world I come from".
In the end, I befuddle them both ways!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

man on the beach


a picture is worth a thousand words so this is what i am saying ( look right)
with most os my sister running shops reasearch centers and various internet companies ( happy muko ) i know notice there is free space in the kitchen ( because of the hunger in my tummy )
so the dangerous sub is out and no more fast food at least untill i have milked all my housemates knowledge of cooking

mean while the reading is going good have my time table and every thing seems to be in the same week so thes tonsils bettter vanish before i flush them with chilli .


mean while a sister notifys me with a text that i there visitors coming on the weekend ( cheeky why didnt they come when i was home ) but i am sending my own special envoy to negotiate the red chicken like in the picture i dont want any painted stuff ,

need to read the baby blogs i may have missed milestones so have a good morning nelly and i say hi to the commander in chief.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The crime of laziness.

Truly, that is a huge crime seeing that we haven't posted in more than a week, close to two weeks infact.
So what have we been up to lately?
Finding our feet again, after a moment- like time together, but all the same trying to keep from falling on the wayside!

I am still debating on a holiday that was planned a while back and procrastination just keeps pushing it further and further away. So today, I made the decision to actually go for it in a couple of weeks.
Somehow, the rush to raft again has died down after the last week's news of a child dying in the river. I know that's a common enough occurence, but then again, I'm no longer keen. So instead, my partners in adventure and I will be heading to Sipi in Mbale/ Kapchorwa for a few days of climbing and fun on Mount Elgon.
A friend was asking why all of a sudden I'm doing out of the ordianry things. My reply, "I want to enjoy some things, if only for a time."
So at this rate, the procrastinated day at the beach with This Musoga, may happen quite soon.
Just watch this space!

Have a nice one.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

A few random thoughts.

When someone leaves to go back to their end of the world, might you cite abandonement?
So, Himself went back to his neck of the woods after a whirlwind stay. But hey, who am I to complain. I'll let him write about that.
The days were filled with babysitting the nieces and seeing the girlfriend in between. He once said, "Funny we're in the same place but I've to talk to you on phone"!
I also had to remind This Musoga to treat his hand luggage with utmost care as it had cake for delivery.
Sadly, he forgot to ask Mary to dance Calypso for him. I guess he'll have to rely on You Tube for videos.

The girlfriend on the other hand went down with the flu almost immediately, which hasn't gone away even a week later.

Have a good one!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

8 random things

As usual the cute one has said pretty much all i would say ,

8 i have walked in the same pair of shoes for over a year . poverty is not living under a dollar a day but not being able think how to make hay while the sun shines

7 i know how to cook matooke without banana leaves (take that to the bank )

6 dispite popular belief my home in reading is not i repeat NOT flooded

5 i told my girlfriend my dream and she laughed in my face

4 the world is a stage and i still want to share it with her

3 i feel the pressure i need to get a car

2 i want to start a shop (nelson a real shop )

1 am scared of going bald .

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

We were tagged

By Pea

According to the rules, we are to post eight random things about ourselves and then tag eight other people so they can do the same.

So here goes

1. We've been planning to go to the beach one of these days. But we still haven't made up our minds to actually go. Somehow, Entebbe is so far off!

2. We both have sisters with the same name.

3. Contrary to popular belief, we are both not in IT. I forget Himself's field. So much for memory.

4. We argue about cats. He likes them and wants to have a few; I hate them.

5. We also argue about F1. He roots for Kimi, I root for the winner whichever race it is.

6. Top Gear- Common Viewing.

7. He's a pork person, I'm more like fish.

8. Our cell phone numbers both end with -661. This was pure coincidence, that was only realised about a month ago.

So there it is.
We still have to agree on the eight others to tag.
We'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

home and away


oh my beautiful lango :)) sorry about the long silence .
it is always nice to see you again .
been home for a while and the mood has changed not because of the northern bypass it seems everyone is in a hurry to win the lottery i thought i was going to take ten days out but it sems i jumped from the pan into the fire.

but anyway this is a happy blog
their nieces and nephews hear i think i am going to start importing pampers and baby clothes
i may just make it big

i had the chance to take care of lexi the other morning and my goodness i was in over my head i realized she needed breakfast and i was not to sure if i could just zap some sausages for her so i called the girlfriend who proceed to give me some good advice ( just give the chic sausages and this is how they are made ....)

anti bija called to make sure her sisters daughter was still alive , ( she sonded shocked when she heard everything was alright . ( obviously she didn't know about the sausage emergency that her name sake had just solved .

we had a a nice time with breakfast and sang the pack away song . and she also helped me upgrade my portable hard drive from 80 gb to 320 ( clever girl her )

deserter strikes
AS she opened the door to go down stairs to swim her caught her foot.
all the kituuka's and all the kadama's put together can not generate as many decibels as this lovely young lady .
don't dis pare this is still my blog am the hero and star "tafa" i use all my charm to turn the the noise into peace full slumber and in no time lexi was counting fairies in dreamland .

as allways the wife has done some thing special to the blog i hope the new lay out is to the satisfaction of all the people who glance at this blog ( even those in parliament *yes i know you *)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

When it doesn't work like you want it to!

The previous post was a hint, an indirect threat, name it. Unfortunately, it didn't produce any result! Because Himself decided to blatantly ignore it!
These hints!!

Anyways, The Musoga is arriving tonight, so he's going to responsible for the next posts over the next few days.
And he's on bunkenke to get to the Pearl!!

I hope he's carried the obligatory chocolate for Lexie!
Otherwise, he may hit the freeway!

But he's got to leave the heels behind!

On my internet trot today, I came across,


Go Pirates Go!

Enjoy your day!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Coagitations of a left- out blogger.



How do I say this in Lusoga? "This Musoga, post!"

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Unemployment Tales

I got a phone call!!!!


One of the organisation's called back, so I start next Monday as ICT Support Assistant. I don't know whether to be glad, rather I'm relieved that I'll probably be doing something that will keep my brain active.
The work hours are…….
Everyone goes to work late, so I've been told, "work around here starts after 10am". Hmmh…….. I don't know……..


The mosquitoes have finally bitten. Maybe because I dared to step out last week. So I'm home, nursing a pre- fever. I was too scared when I started feeling funny, that I got a test and though it was negative, I insisted on a dose of anti- malarials.
So to be in tip- top shape for next week, I'm home gathering all the energy I need and trying to finish The Messianic Legacy.


Ki- Nigeria.

This Musoga and I had a little tete- a- tete about these movies. He finally watched them and maybe now he understands why I detest them! His complaint was those scenes where they show the guy thinking and it is for like one and a half minutes!! Plus, they use one song throughout the movie.
Nigerian movies are the reason I can't stand piped music and they are shallow. You can tell the plot in the first few minutes of the movie. Then the business of leading you on a long ride, then the movies duration runs out and it leaves you hanging with "To God be the glory"!! I mean……

My grievances are too many!!



Bragging rights.

This cropped up because of one too many coincidences.

This Musoga constantly reminds me how he's one bright Musoga an dthis blog is aptly named "Smarter".

Mr. Magoo also likes punctuating his blog with references to Basoga brightness. He's participated in the Ugandan movie Divisonz (trailer's here), so maybe that's a mark of his genuis

Last week, a Musoga friend also was "assuring" me how many times she crosses the Nile to her home, hence the need to be "handled with care"!

So maybe, I should join the bandwagon and my reasons shall be, I mean, I'm associated with a Musoga and I also cross the Nile, but haven't done any movie works!!!



Have a nice week!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

And, …….. We’re back on air.

Me, at least. I’m really not sure about Himself!
Apologies for those that have been checking this fluctuating blog for updates. We really should try to make the posts more frequent!
On my part, I’ve been too lazy and tired to even type out a post in word. Every time, I plan to do it, it’s too much effort at that time. So it gets pushed to the next day and the next and the next, till I am overcome with guilt and also my rather subtle hints to This Musoga were not producing any desired effects! And doing the usual blog trot through all the ones I read, they are really doing the posting. I’m feeling a little left behind, so I’m trying to catch up.

What I’ve been up to

I’m planning to do the three day raft trip, probably in August this year, with Max and Naphlim maybe, if they can behave themselves.
Hopefully, This Musoga will be back in his territory and they’ll be one person less who’s fears I’ll have to allay!! But again seeing the snake in the water, which I didn’t see, I don’t think I’ll be swimming in the river again!

So far, the first weeks of my unemployment have been rather slow in passing. They’ve been mainly filled with Crossword puzzles, Sudoku and more recently the ante has been up- ed, I’m doing kyeyo at my dad’s consultancy. Doing a few things here and there, boosting my organizational skills.
It really doesn’t help that I’m in close quarters with two bookshops and my habits with books are back in full swing. I’ve already spent my allowance on two books which I’m reading concurrently and immensely enjoying the jolts!! The Messianic Legacy and The Holy Blood And The Holy Grail, both which were written by the controversial trio Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh and Henry Lincoln.
Plus, I’m re- reading one of my favourite books- John Steinbeck’s masterpiece, The Grapes Of Wrath. I’ve read this countless times and it still holds my attention!
What these books have managed to achieve is, wean me off telly completely. Not that telly was not entertaining, the Mobutu documentary was good and now that Al Jazeera’s coming to us, there’s the odd scope to look out for! Idols was rather disappointing, I did not root for the winner and felt sorry for Jeroline, too much drama!! C & I is still top- notch. Disappointingly, Tyra Banks’ pity- party is still on! Ellen and Justin Timberlake rocked, rocked and rocked! Instead, there are interesting pages full of facts, history and conspiracy theories to spend my time on. Puli must be thanking the Man up there for putting me near books!

On my home from university when I’d finished, I told my dad emphatically that I was taking a huge break from school. More like a year. Unfortunately, I’l be back in the land of homework, moody lecturers and deadlines starting this weekend, to get certified. The only thing to be thankful about is that I’ll be doing it in town. The downside, I’ll be in class from 9am- 4pm, Saturday and Sunday. It’s hard making choices.
Suprisingly, I’m looking forward to the classes.

Meanwhile, in my lifetime, I’d never seen a Ugandan passenger train. On Saturday, I saw it chugging along from a vantage point at home. Gosh, I was happy!
My bet that Uganda would lose 1-0 was so wrong. Congs to the Cranes but we’ve a few more matches before we can relax that we’re in! So now I’ve to work on my faith in Ugandan Sports, be nationalistic, is it?!

So I’ll leave it here for now.
Maybe, next time, I’ll include the wacky things my class has been up to.

Ta’rar!